That's my goal, anyway. I would love to have one of those homes that you never have to apologize for and you can invite people in at a moment's notice. It would be fantastic to have perfectly balanced meals piping hot and ready when Dirk got home so we could eat and then go on our nightly walk/run. And maybe even a creative outlet in there somewhere... And of course lots and lots of cuddle time with the little one.
But it just always feels like I'm dropping one thing or another. I can either cook or clean, not both. I don't always get the lunches made. And in the last two days Dirk has figured out that his knee is currently working and he can go so much faster than me, so last night he invited me to stay home while he went out on his run. Not a huge deal, but when he doesn't get home until 9:37 and the run takes an hour it sure cuts down on together time. (It's not ideal, but when is life ever ideal? I'm glad he can exercise and unwind like that.) Some days I get home and sigh because of the mountain of work in front of me, and it seems like all I can do is chip away at the surface. And all I really want to do is find a pattern and make baby shoes for some big chubby toes I get to tickle.
I am thankful that little by little God is doing good things in us and helping us to grow in ways we are not naturally strong-- right now for me that is in organization, cleaning, time management, and sticking to routines. What can I say-- those creative juices sure can make things messy! I get discouraged fairly often. But you know what? I am a work in progress. Our house, getting into routines, being a good helpmeet, mothering Hendrik, all works in progress. I am God's creative project, and he is not going to forget about me to move on to someone else-- he is slowly but surely finishing me up. Hallelujah!
--Philippians 4:6 The Message