I've been so weepy about leaving Hendrik. Last Friday my aunt came to visit, and she talked about a little embroidered wall hanging her mother-in-law had given her:
For babies grow up, we've learned to our sorrow.
So quiet down cobwebs, dust go to sleep,
I'm rocking my baby, and babies don't keep.
Back to today. I had visions of waking up at 6 and taking a hot shower, then feeding Hendrik and loading the car up with the bags and lunches I had packed, with plenty of time to drop him off at daycare and get to school by 7:30. But a night on the couch with a wakeful baby and missed alarm clock had me up, looking at the clock bleary-eyed at 7:04. I started crying and rushed around, bagging up fridge items and bringing Hendrik to daycare with a bottle of partially defrosted breast milk for his breakfast. So much for a peaceful morning feeding! He cried the whole way there, and I may have too. I dropped him off and got to school at 7:38, only to realize I had left my pump at home. No way was I going through the day without that. So I battled school traffic to go back home, grabbed the pump, and walked into school just as the 7:50 bell rang. I barely had time to greet the handful of students waiting to say hi and then we were full tilt into the school day.
So many big and small blessings through the day... The chance to show off pictures and hear over and over how cute and precious our son is, a locked storage room off my classroom and several opportunities throughout the day to pump, hearing how a dear student in need got so much financial aid for college. I love working at a school where most of my colleagues have either had babies and gone back to work or watched their wives do it-- lots of sympathy. And my teaching load is great. The kids kept me hopping through the day, so I didn't have time to sit and be sad. I called the daycare during a break and heard that everything was fine, so that eased my mind too.
When I went to pick Hendrik up, the mom who runs it smiled big and said, "He's sleeping!" A few of the older preschoolers ran over to a pack-n-play and pointed in, and there he was, sound asleep. I got a report on what he did-- mostly slept, and he sat in the swing and bouncy chair--and how much he ate, and we went home. I'm so thankful for this great daycare situation in a sweet loving home.
So now we've been gently led through our one-day week, and we have six regular weeks before summer break. I feel more and more confident that we can do this, and I see that God hasn't brought us this far just to make me do the rest on my own. His grace covers us even in daycare and going back to work. He has made a way for our every step, and we are so thankful.